Every Table…

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Hidden Files.. a style I never shared with you all.

My Granny had a saying: “Every table’s got to stand on its own legs.”

I’ve found many places to apply that saying in my life since she passed and today I’m going to apply it to hair.

Not just Natural Hair.
:::crowd gasps in unison:::

There’s a misconception that there’s a no maintenance way of having one’s hair. The only way that you can have no maintenance hair is if you just simply refuse to maintain it as a principle. You just make the choice to give up completely. I don’t know where you work or what brand you represent but it’s not easy for anyone to get away with that in mainstream society. 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way,  please pick your struggle.  If you cut it all off, relax it, loc it, braid it, twist it…. there’s a routine that goes along with keeping it looking the way you want it. 

Don’t waste your time convincing yourself that life is better somewhere else and enjoy the journey of where you are today.  There will be days that you want to give up being natural, I think we’ve all had a “You know what… I quit” day, but just remember nobody’s holding you hostage.

This whole journey can be about self-love, health, individuality, heritage or none of those things. It’s up to you to decide what it means to you, because after all… you can’t stand on anyone else’s legs, you’ve got your own. 

I hope this brought some peace to someone struggling with this path.

You can always contact me for questions.  #Love

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Nights like this I wish, I’d just cut it Off.

Picture it Cincinnati 2014.

I have my cousin’s wedding coming up and I’m extremely excited. It’s been a few days since the Bachelorette Party in Atlanta. The wedding is a week away and  I’m Maid of Honor, which means that I’ll show up in quite a few photos. The bride has requested that we all get weaves and put our hair in a beautiful style that she chose.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the style she chose, and she’s even been flexible on the texture of the weave.

Insert Quest.

I travel the city in search of just the right bundle of hair. I considered a curly pattern but worried that my hair wouldn’t blend with the slick feeling hair. My go to weave that matches my hair perfectly is synthetic and I’m just assuming that the stylist will use heat to achieve the style so that’s not an option…. I travel to the store of my youth, “Hair Lucky”.

After roughly an hour I locate a bundle of hair that the saleswoman assures me will blend well. I even touch the ends of the hair myself and note that it doesn’t have the slip that the other straight brands appeared to have.

Cut to my house.

I separate and braid my hair during my pre-Scandal evening and open the pack fully just as the first camera shutter sound crosses the screen.

Shiny ass hair = massive straightening of my hair required for blending.

It’s too late,  Abby is already getting paid dust at the campaign meeting and my hair is braided in a circle with the edges out.  This hair is going in my head.

The rest is too traumatic to share… In short there’s anti-frizz serum in my hair because it’s raining and I have to keep my edges laid. I almost passed out typing that.

Here’s the end result-

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I feel like a clown.  I feel guilty for putting the trash that is anti-frizz serum in my hair, mostly because I held on to a little before I took my natural journey all clean.  My poor blow dryer heat only hair has been sizzled with a flat iron in ways that would make many of my natural hair vets cringe.

So tonight’s mission is a Re-do (I will not let this be a real obstacle). If you know of a brand of weave that sells Super Wave in Human Hair that ships overnight contact me as soon as you’re finished reading.

I’ve had ideas of short styles… but I said that I would let it grow.  But a 2″ Fro with a Lotus cut into the side sounds dope.

Thanks for reading,  this was my hair therapy.  Have a backsliding hair story you’d like to share?  Email marellewrites@gmail.com I’ll keep you Anonymous if you’d like.

Life on the other side of my loc attempt

I have been having the time of my life since I took my locs down. There are days that I miss being able to just wake up and go, but not many. Locs are beautiful, on everybody else but me. 🙂

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I’m posting some pictures of the fun I’ve been having since taking my hair down, but I thought I’d share with you a moment that took place this weekend that changed my thought process on my hair.

I’ve done every type of style imaginable over the past decade, relaxer-free. Weave is my weakness, but it’s not a chemical, and I don’t use glue so I’m still on #TeamNatural.

Sunday evening I raced all over town, completely forgetting about the fact that during the Christmas shopping season the stores in the mall stay open until 8. I made it to a hair store in what I thought was the nick of time with only a half-hour to spare.

I paced the isles toggling between a full sew-in and long twists with Marley hair to hide away my hair in the cold. I never spend a lot of money on the hair I sew in because I rarely keep a style over two weeks, but the prices have changed dramatically. The cheap hair that hangs in the isles is $30/pack. For those of you that haven’t ever explored the Wide World of Weave, the isle is reserved for the synthetic, non-human or poorly conditioned hair and the price range for that is not much higher than $20/pack. I found myself asking a question that I’d never considered before.

Is it that serious?

How my hair looks is always important to me, let’s not confuse that. However, it’s not become important for me to achieve styles that my own hair isn’t designed to do. I have fallen completely in love with my curls and kinks. My new perspective on a good weave is one that accentuates my hair, not one that hides it away. Straight hair is fun, but not when I doesn’t feel like a straightened version of what I grow.

It used to be very easy for me to braid my hair back and take on a new personality, and now the thought of it gives me separation anxiety. During my short loc journey I was taken away from being able to play with my hair the way I’d become accustomed over the years. I’m not saying that I’ll never rock a wig again, but I believe my journey helped me appreciate my own hair so much more.

 

Perception Deception (don’t believe the hype)

Nobody prepares you for the spectacle you may become the further into the natural journey you travel. I remember my first month natural, people talked about how they were surprised that my hair was essentially a bunch of ringlets, I still can’t imagine exactly what they were expecting.

There are some people, even African-Americans that hear the word “natural” in reference to hair and their mind drills down to a picture from National Geographic from the 1970s. Honestly I had hopes that my hair would spring forth and declare without words my African roots and serve as a symbol of pride in my ancestors that arrived in South Carolina on a boat from Ghana and from those three sisters I sit in a boardroom like fearless and “reppin’ my people”. However, my lineage, as most pre-1800’s lineage African-Americans, is much more complex and with that I’m left with a head of hair that boasts cowlicks  and whirls in the midst of my ringlets and waves.

It is that fact that caused me to seek professional assistance along my hair path my first few years. Because all of the passed down information and the few YouTube videos out at the time I found myself lost when people started giving curl classifications and assigning DIY styling instructions based on 3c, 2b, etc. and noticed that I’d have to change techniques from one section of hair to the next. When I took time away from wearing a styled afro and took what I call a braid break, I’d get one price when they looked at my hair, and about halfway through I’d get a new quote for the next time because my shrinkage would hide not only the length but how full my head of hair was at the time. This would incite a gathering of the braiders behind my chair and a few of them reaching in to touch a few different spots in my head and discuss it among themselves in French.

The most notable part of my past journey revolved around the curiosity that my hair created, in others as well as introspectively. It will take time to get used to exactly what your hair is going to look like so use the words, videos and instructions as a baseline to formulate your own techniques.

Just a bit of fortune cookie wisdom. Enjoy!

The Details

The Details